You will want to assess your partner’s ability in the beginning of a dance and lead accordingly. The only exceptions are a follow that cannot dance on time or a follow who backleads (but there are very few of these). If the first lead goes badly, give her a second chance. Don’t discuss the move, just do it! If she does better, try it again. You might have blown the lead the first time. If she cannot do the move, don’t try to force it. Continue to assess your partner’s ability as you dance. Build up to complicated moves; develop your dance as a conversation, allowing for improvisation and creativity.

A crucial point for leads is that you must initiate your lead slightly before the follow needs to take a step. This advance notice gives the follow the opportunity to take the step you are asking her to make. Ultimately, you want to offer the lightest effective lead. This lead will vary with the partner, as a newer dancer might need a more forceful lead than an experienced dancer. As you and a partner continue to dance together, you will both become more comfortable with one another. Comfortable partners will achieve shorter lead times resulting in flawless movements.

When traffic on the dance floor moves, (such as when the dances circulate counter-clockwise around the floor as in ballroom dances or the Argentine Tango), navigation skills are important for both the lead and the follow. Both partners must use their peripheral vision to watch the couples around them, being attentive so they are able anticipate the others’ moves. Generally, the follow should not back lead, but communicating with the lead is positive in this instance. She can give signals to the leader that a traffic problem is coming up by increasing her pressure on the dance hold, preventing the leader from backing into another couple.

Incorporating the techniques and recommendations from the past seven blog entries will help make you a better follower or leader. As you are attentive to your dance hold, as you and your partner touch in a well-intentioned and educated way, and as the lead creatively adapts to his follower’s needs, you will build a strong connection with your partner which will result in enjoyable and beautiful dance movements.

There are four main types of lead:

1. Weight Change: The tone in the frame and body allow the leader to convey movement through weight change and body rhythm. Follows must watch for the subtlety of their leaders’ weight changes and be ready to move with them.
2. Physical Changes: The arm communicates the lead’s intentions through contraction and extension. Increased tone in the arm and movement of the hands signal to the follow.
3. Visual Changes: The lead should mimic the leader as he wants to regain hold or change handholds.
4. Changes in Shape: Leaders can signal with the shape of their body and arms. They can employ one of the following shapes:
   1. A rotation of the body,
   2. A clear circular shape of the arms which will lead the follower, or
   3. Shape changes from one dance position to another position.

When leads are aware of what their partners are watching for, they can give notice of where the dance will be taking the couple next. The follower must use their peripheral vision to be aware of changes in the tone or shape of their lead’s body. A lady who is attentively looking for all of the above four leads will make an excellent partner as she is willing to make the connection with another dancer.

Next week: Tips for effective leading. . .

The Argentine Tango community uses the word “embrace” to describe the dance hold. Embrace is a great term which reminds us to be gentle with our partner. The word “hold” is useful because it suggests that we are holding another person. “Frame” is also a good term because it denotes the basic structure of the dance. Frame also reminds the leader that he has responsibilities, both to showcase his partner and to protect her on the crowded dance floor.

Within the dance hold or frame, contact between partners can happen from the thighs to the head. The amount of contact depends on the dance and the move. It also depends on the styling and relative size of the partners—their thighs, hips, chest/abdomen, cheek, and forehead. (Think also of the Five Points of Contact for ballroom style dances which were discussed previously.) Having contact requires some skill from both people. With a new partner, it is better to start with some separation and then gauge each other’s comfort level and desire. When a follow is uncomfortable, she can use the left hand and thumb on the front of the lead’s shoulder to literally push her partner away, forcing them to keep their distance.

Touch is important from both the lead and the follow—we both want to be giving and caring with our touch. When we touch or hold our partner, we want to aim for a touch that is both firm but not too tight, and free but not too light. If our touch is kind, educated and well-intentioned, then our partner will be more likely to enjoy the experience of dancing with us. A caring touch is part of becoming a good leader or follower.

Next week: The four main types of leads . . .

Become aware of where you are carrying your body weight. Where do you want your body weight as you dance? Keeping your weight forward (forward poise) or back (backward poise) may be appropriate for different dances or for the same dance at different times. Be attentive for when and how you shift your body weight and poise throughout the dance.

Your elbows stay forward of your body. If your elbows are behind your body, you won’t have enough room in your arms to be able to hold your partner. Give your partner enough room in your arms by keeping your elbows in front of your torso.

Pay attention to your alignment with your partner’s torso. In general, your shoulders are parallel or in a “V” with your partner. Your alignment with your partner changes with the dance style. Alignment varies from being not offset (in dances such as in the Argentine Tango) to slightly offset (in Latin and Swing dances) to very offset (in Ballroom dance and even more in Ballroom-style Tango dance). If you want to be an accomplished partner, you need to learn to use the appropriate hold, embrace or frame.

Be attentive to when you and your partner have body contact and where you have that point of contact. For ballroom dances, such as the Waltz or Foxtrot, remember the Five Points of Contact: First, the man’s left hand and lady’s right hand; second, the man’s right forearm/wrist supporting the lady’s left forearm near her left armpit; next, the man’s right hand on the lady’s back; next, the lady’s left hand and forearm on man’s right arm, holding his bicep with thumb and middle finger; lastly, both partners’ right sides at the ribs/abdomen.

Now that you have become aware of your dance hold, we will talk next about how to be a respectful dance partner in both your hold and your touch.

Next week: An often neglected topic.

What is required of us if we want to develop good connections with our partners? In the last entry, I talked about developing your own dancing to become a more accomplished partner. Remembering the following six items will help you to improve your own dancing while building a connection with your partner:

1. Pay attention to your posture.
2. Keep your own center engaged.
3. Focus on your partner’s center.
4. Maintain eye contact.
5. Keep a toned frame.
6. Match resistance to your partner’s.

For a visual connection, the first three—your posture, an engaged center and your partner’s center—are also necessary. We communicate through the carriage of our body, so maintaining good posture and an engaged center will give visual cues to your partner about where you are going next. The better the control you have over your own body movement and carriage, the better your intentions will be communicated to your partner. The visual cues you give your partner will allow them read and respond to you which also gives you feedback to make sure they are reading you correctly.

A toned frame and matching resistance—the last two items—are important when we “plug in” to our partner. Touch is a transfer of energy, like plugging into a power outlet. When we establish physical touch with our partner, a toned frame and matched resistance will give the dance a sharper feeling and look.

Maintaining a good connection with your dance partner is important in many ways. Maintaining this connection builds on the quality of your own dancing as you keep the above six items in mind. Your visual connection and points of contact allow you to give helpful visual and physical cues to your partner.

Next: The dance hold itself. . .

You want to know how to move and how to move on time with the music.  When you learn to dance, there is a series of skills and coordinations you want to develop.

1. First, you want to develop your own physical coordination.  This is learning the moves or the steps.
2. Second, you want to develop your internal sense of the relative speed of the movements or the steps.  You would want to coordinate the physical movements with a timing/rhythm or speed.
3. Next, you want to match your internal timing to the actual timing of the music you dance to.  There are several different tempos or speeds for any type of music.  Some people develop a very good sense of the rhythm of the dance but they don’t coordinate it with the music that is playing.
4. You will now be ready to coordinate your movement with a partner who also has developed their own physical and musical skills.  This can be different than actual lead and follow and is more about being connected or coordinated with a partner.
5. Finally, we get to the skills of lead and follow.  You want to develop the physical coordination of the lead/follow and then achieve a level of “conversational” ability, where the skills we have already developed begin to feel ‘natural,’ and you are able to use them easily and mainly from a place of ‘feeling’ instead of ‘thinking.’

Only after developing our own dance skills can we then develop into being good partners.

Next: What is this “connection” anyways…

Start with Posture

This is the carriage of your whole body.  It is important to

Engage: shoulders, upper body (back and chest) and core

When dancing, you want to have tone in your muscles.  You want energized muscles ready to be used, neither too tense nor completely relaxed.  The word we use a lot of the time is ‘tone.’  Tone means to keep the muscles in a constant state of partial contraction.  As dancers we engage both opposing muscle groups at the same time.

The easiest way for most people to understand this is with the arms – even though for good connections we don’t want to use (or over utilize) the arm muscles.  If you want to straighten your arm, think of flexing the triceps (concentric contraction) at the same time as you resist the straightening with the biceps (eccentric contraction).  When thinking about creating good connections we will use the back and pectoral muscles more than the arms.

Next: How developing your own dancing is important to being a better partner…